Death.Meditation. (Fiction)

The world was coming to an end. The scientists had all but assured us a gory blaze next week when the asteroid will hit the earth. All pretenses of finding solutions were given up weeks ago and scientists and government workers had left to spend their last days with loved ones. Lisa was one of the few to remain behind who had nowhere or no one to go to. The lab had provided her cover from the emptiness of her life and that cover was now stripped away leaving her naked and quivering with dread. Not the dread of the upcoming end. The end was most welcome. The bigger dread was that of spending the next 7 days without a purpose or a way to escape. She could always pop a pill and go to sleep like the millions who chose that way. But the scientist in her didn't want to miss seeing the grand finale to human civilization. Also these pills never worked on her. They left her with a headache and greater suffering. She had always pitied the simple minds who would fall into sleep and delusion so easily, until now that is. Maybe ignorance was bliss? They stopped making movies years ago and all the old ones she had watched a more than a dozen times each - the ones worth watching anyways. She carelessly flicked through her contact list to see if there was any old spark interesting enough to reignite. No name was worthwhile spending a few days with, leave alone the end of existence. She was sure that even if she took the effort to contact them one by one painfully, she would get bored of them within the first couple of hours. And the remaining 6 and a half days would be even more tiresome with one other person to drag along added to her own tiresome self. Most of her friends were married and quite likely commiserating with their significant others and offspring. No... no people for her. She took in a deep breath and a let out a slow, long exhale hoping to shave off about 10 seconds from the count down clock. When she checked the clock the second hand moved but a single tick. She sighed again with frustration at what was surely a malfunctioning atomic clock. tick. tock. tick..... tock. Among the heaviness in her heart and the chaotic flashings of thoughts in her head she suddenly saw the glimpse of an idea. She stopped to look at it, but it dissolved before she could stop it. She scrambled back clumsily trying to reverse the chain of random neural firings. It was something to do with a book she read. She had thought of a guy in a suit. No, that was a dead end.. Something about the sea.. Surely yes.. Some water was involved. And something funny, for she had involuntarily smiled at the time the thought came. She struggled for some more time and then gave up. Maybe she was facing the beginning of dementia at 30. What next? menopause at 40? Suddenly she remembered that all this would be moot in 7 days. The end of civilization, she was sure, was a relief to many people. So many fears became meaningless and so many unpaid debts could be written off. Tick. tock. tick.... tock. The positive feelings about the upcoming apocalypse gave her some peace.. Her mind was less tormented and thoughts were flying through closer to the posted speed limit rather than the usual $400 fine range. What if she could stop them completely? said a thought in her head. There ... that was something to play with. Hard enough to do, maybe. And it didn't require anyone else. But is this even possible? Will I go mad? Am I not thinking of this plan? Isn't that a thought.. A hundred such thoughts now flooded through her head at even greater than usual speed and force. STOP she shouted to herself. STOP... STOP. Suddenly everything stopped. She could see silence inside her. Nothing moved. Her command to STOP was executed. And in that silence she felt her heart beating; her breathing happening and she felt her skin touching the world around. But everything else was quiet. She could hear the faint humming of the machines in the lab and distant voices talking from far down the corridor. But the sounds were not oppressive. They were not inside her head but outside. That is weird... aren't sounds always supposed to be outside the head? Why does this sound different? Am I going crazy? How many seconds was I silent? Hey ... are they back on now? STOP she screamed again. And she was back in her silence. A little more easily this time. Her heart was beating, a bit slower now and the distant sounds were again heard. I wonder if this is what people do when they meditate? STOP! ... and again back to breathing. In a few seconds, she automatically closed her eyes so she might see her silence better. There was blackness in front of her eyes. Sort of like sleep.. but she was surely awake.. there was no doubt about that. A thought about the upcoming end of the world popped up. She shrugged her shoulders mentally as if saying "so?".. The thought went away, perhaps looking for others to torment. She found a sweet taste in her mouth. And the darkness inside grew even more darker. It was almost as if she had reached the end of the world a week before everyone else. And it was not that terrible. Almost comforting and peaceful. Sort of like she was lying on the lap of her mother and resting her head on her bosom. She had been an orphan and had never knew her real mother. But in that silent darkness she knew that she was on her lap. There was no uncertainly about it. Her mother was huge in form covering all space and yet no part of her was distant. She nuzzled closer to her mother and everything grew darker even more. Darkness covered by darkness. The idea "eternity" popped into her head and dissolved away. Darkness and silence. Suddenly she saw an explosion of light. The explosion started as a point and but immediately its bright light filled everything inside her till nothing else could be seen. She instinctively pulled closer to the mother's bosom. The light started diminishing and slowly went down to a point again and disappeared. She was back with her silence.. and her darkness and her mother. Her eyes opened on their own accord. She didn't know after how long. It took her many seconds to make sense of the light entering her eyes and to recognize the forms around her. The entire room was crowded now and there were people sitting down all around her; touching her legs and holding her hands.. For some reason they had all drifted to her room to spend the end of the world in. But only she knew now that the world was not going to end. That her mother had decided to let the clock tick again. She slowly got up and slipped gently out of the holds of the people around her. She took a few steps, feeling as if she was floating rather than walking. She felt her face growing into a smile on its own; something she had never experienced in all her life. The evening sun was streaming through the windows. The flowers in the garden seemed to be swaying in gentle dance and rejoicing in the happenings. They knew. She found herself gliding slowly towards the door so she could join them in their celebration of life.

Life. Death. Meditation