Friday, September 27, 2013

Thinking of Amitabh Bachchan - The Real Anti Faith Bill

Or Why the Anti-Superstition Bill is Extremely Dangerous to Hinduism?

The Maharashtra Government issued the ‘Anti-Superstition and Black Magic Ordinance’ in a hurry on August 21, 2013 succumbing to pressure from certain groups in the wake of rationalist Narendra Dabholkar being shot dead by unidentified assailants as an knee jerk reaction.  This is hardly the way to bring legislation which has been contested over the past 7 years!  Surely something is not straight forward about it.. 

The main purpose of the bill is to take control of what you can believe in or not believe in. On what is considered science and what is superstition.  The bill is just the first step.  It is now your job to prove what you believe in.

Pretty soon they can close down temples and take away the gold they have because the atheist authors of the bill believe that God is a superstition.   

I can't explain the ridiculousness of the bill except by showing an analogy. Using the Anti-Faith Bill as basis, I have made a new bill to address the more immediately social problem of Amitab Bachchan fans on the rampage in India..

I present to you the Thinking of Amitabh Bachan Bill. It has 9 clauses which are punishable offences as per the law. (And for all those who are not too familiar with sarcasm, note how the crimes are punishable irrespective of whether the person committing is "Thinking of Amitabh Bachchan" or not)
  1. Thinking of Amitab Bachchan and chopping someone with a knife into extremely small pieces.
  2. With the objective of pleasing Amitab Bachchan kidnapping kids and selling them as slaves
  3. Make financial profits by collecting money for an Amitabh fan club taking money from people and then buying jilabis instead (Note that creating an Amitab Bachchan fan club itself is perfectly alright as long as he is dead). The stress is on buying Jilebis
  4. In the pretext of appreciating Amitab Bachchan do something gruesome or inhuman such as sacrificing people or torching competing movie theaters 
  5. Trying to act like Amitabh Bhachchan or encouraging someone to act like Amitabh Bachchan and potentially making a fool of yourself.
  6. Create fear in people by claiming that you or someone else is Amitab Bachchan  and make them pee in their pants .
  7. Accuse a woman (see we are pro women!) of being anti Amitabh Bachchan and restrict her routine
  8. Claim that a differently-abled (see we are pro people with disabilities!) person is actually Amitabh Bachchan in disguise and make him act in movies
  9. Pretending to be Amitabh Bhachchan and as a result of this managing to get a man/woman/differently-gendered person laid
And borrowing from the supporters of the Anti-Faith bill, here is why the government should pass the "Thinking of Amitabh Bachchan" bill:

Why are people protesting against these innocent laws?? Don't they realize that killing people and torching them or cheating  is bad? What kind of society do we live in?   I can't understand how people seem to think that these laws are against Amitabh Bachchan?  We only condemn the actions done on his name. Not the actor himself. We got a letter from his publicist asking about whey he was being discriminated against like this and the other actors are not being talked about. Don't you know that there are many people who could potentially be called Amitabh Bachchan and not just him? Why does he feel singled out?

And don't worry we'll create new bills with a cross product of all the other actors and actresses on one side and the entire IPC code on the other (except for all the Catholic and Islamic actors - because you see no one can do any crime once they think of either of them). Should keep us and the media busy for a long long time! Talk of job security. YES! 

Here are some outrageously uninformed comments from Narendra Dhabholkar, the author of the anti-faith bill, related to Hinduism:
  1. Observing fast is a mental bondage due to which people of this country have lost their will to bring change in self.
  2. How can God, who cannot have bath on His own, shower you with good fortune?
  3. Performance of Satyanarayan puja’ is superstition !
  4. Education based on science is required to break 5000 years old Indian traditions

There is nothing in the bill that cannot be handled by existing IPC laws on murder or cheating.
Clearly  the hidden - or not so hidden - agenda of the Bill is to destroy Hinduism. Because the authors of the  bill feel that faith in anything but what western science currently knows of is superstition. All they have done is take existing crimes and add any Hindu faith before it to taint the belief.

What are the consequences of this bill. Not just as the ordinance was issued ... but as it was envisaged.. and as they want it to be.
  1. You cannot charge money for conducting a Homa - because you are exploiting someone for a superstitious belief
  2. You will not be allowed to provide a horoscope matching service or print out horoscopes
  3. All temples can be shut down because God is a superstition. All the Gold in the temples can be taken away. I believe this is one of the main motives behind the bill ! 
  4. It is OK to kill animals by truckloads and eat them.. even hunt them... make leather garments and fur coats out of them.  But if you say a prayer before cutting an animal up you could go to prison. Unless you are a Muslim of course, then you can kill goat by the millions.
  5. If I do an Hindu astrology show on TV you can be arrested. But the millions of people who are exposed to Sun Signs and Moon Signs and Love Signs are OK because those have a Christian origin. 
  6. Many of what they call superstition - spiritual healing, water divining, talking to spirits etc - are real powers mentioned in our scriptures and are much more common than we are led to believe. But now all those people will become criminals and their population will disappear- much like the American Native Indians did. 

The bill is an attempt by atheists to destroy Hinduism. The bill is a sugar coated virus trying to appear to be a social reform bill. All Hindu's should oppose the bill and all variations of it.
Hinduism is born of the faith in the statements of the ancients masters and scriptures that a higher consciousness exists and that human beings can continuously be in touch with that consciousness and that miracles happen all the time outside the purview of what can be proved scientifically. Having this faith and spreading it is protected by article 25 of the constitution of India.  The people who believe in atheism and that everything in the world is pre-ordained or random and that life has no meaning are trying hard through this bill to pull down the foundations of Hinduism. The bill is a  virus which is sugar coated to look like a social reform attempt. And anyone who feels they are a Hindu should oppose this bill and all variations of it.

Below is the stupid crap that got issued instead as an Anti Superstition ordinance in Maharashtra. And to top it all the Karnataka government wants to pass it here too - and the draft version of that is even more directly aimed at Hinduism.

  1. Under the pretext of removing a bhoot (ghost) from a person’s body, tying that person with a rope or a chain or a stick, assaulting them or asking them to drink water soaked in footwear, hang the person to the roof, pluck their hair, ask them to touch heated objects or force them to conduct sexual act in the open or force the intake of urine or stool.
  2. Make financial profits by displaying so called miracles. Cheat and terrorise people with the aid of such miracles. (This means that miracle per se is not an offence. Also, talking about the miracles from the past, telling stories of Dnyaneshwar and how he made a buffalo recite Vedas is perfectly alright). The stress is on making money.
  3. With the objective of attaining supernatural powers, do something or ask others to do something that might cause injuries or risk to life.
  4. At the pretext of searching for hidden treasure or water source do something that is inhuman, gruesome and ask or encourage or suggest for human life as prashad. (Some argued that existing laws were strong enough to deal with such murders. But murdering is different from encouraging. And the encouragement is not for killing of a particular person which amounts to culpable homicide but any human life which otherwise cannot be a punishable offence under the law).
  5. Create a feeling of fear by giving an impression of having supernatural power or pretending that someone else has such powers or threaten that evil will befall if he/she doesn’t obey the person having such powers.
  6. Creating suspicion about a person claiming that he/she performs black magic through which he/she carries evil practices and makes life difficult for that person or declare that a person is a Satan or form of Satan.
  7. Beating up a person or have a procession of a naked woman saying she is a witch or restrict her routine.
  8. Threatening to invite a ghost and creating fear in the mind and misguiding people by claiming to cure a disease with the help of mantras by preventing medical aid.
  9. Preventing medical aid and instead claiming to cure a person bitten by snake, dog or scorpion by chanting mantras or by tying threads or similar things.
  10. Claiming to change the sex of the foetus in the womb by inserting fingers.
  11. Giving an impression that one has supernatural powers or that the devotee was his/ her wife/ husband or paramour in past birth thereby indulging in sexual activity with such person. Having sex with a woman yearning for a child claiming to make her pregnant with supernatural powers.
  12. Claiming that a differently abled person has supernatural power and using him or her for business purpose.

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